My COF described an incident when "I scared them". It doesn't matter the topic, or the situation - what matters is that my energy caused some of these women to become uncomfortable and leave the room for more wine.
Of course I apologized for making them uncomfortable. That is never my intent. I prefer to be loved not feared. I really don't see myself as fierce or scary ... and yet ... as I reflect ... I do have an element of Fierce.
I'm sliding into acceptance that I am Fierce. It's happened often. When someone or something I care about (kids, family, friends, the environment, democracy!) is "threatened" Fierce will arrive forcefully and sometimes suddenly. You do NOT mess with this Mama Bear. My kids know this. My son rejects and disdains my "help". Which is fine. He's much more capable and successful in fighting his own battles. They all are actually.
Earlier, the College Daughter shared a story about her teammate's interaction with the coach. The teammate has an actual (serious!) medical condition, the coach is shallow and wants her scholarship money for someone else. As I heard the details of this story I literally got pissed off and pumped up! Fortunately my clothes didn't rip off nor did I turn green but the effect was otherwise the same. There was a small smile on my daughter's face. She knew my rage was impotent. I wasn't going to call or email anyone. My energy validated the shittiness of her teammate's treatment by the coach. I think sometimes it's nice to have The Hulk in your corner.
Other times, not so much.
It was humbling to realize that I'm a "scary" friend. I guess it's good to know how I am perceived - the polar opposite of who I think I am. Shit! I don't apologize for standing up for what I think is right. Though I may need to restrain The Hulk a bit in order to have an educated discussion vs scare the shit out of bystanders.
Keep Cool My Friends.