My nightmare has come true:  I'm fat, lazy, socially awkward, weak, cowardly, stupid, and an alcoholic.  Thanks COVID!  You suck!

 Our offer on my imaginary dream house was rejected.  On one hand, we saved a shitload of $$.  On the other hand, the vision of us remodeling this house on a little lake close to our friend-set was feeling really comfortable.  Took me days to not be salty about being rejected.  (I may still be salty - apparently, I don't like the word No either!)   We will keep an eye on the property.  I'm sure it will still be sitting there for several months - the current owners are kinda crazy I think - which may work to our benefit one day.

On another note:  Election 2020 happened.  As you know, I was a Poll Worker this year.  5:30 am to 8:45 pm.  I live in a nice quiet little conservative suburb to there were no right or left wing shenanigans to contend with.  Early voters waited up to an hour to vote at my location.  The last few hours of the day there were very few voters.  It got really boring and we were all tired.  Civic Duty: Check!

Two days after the polls closed the Country is waiting for final counts in five states and a winner in the presidential election to reach 270 electoral votes.  President Trump is sowing doubt on the election process calling it rigged.  Fox News is also questioning the validity of the election.  Joe Biden is calling for patience.  Election officials keep repeating that this is exactly how the election process is supposed to work.  This year, because of the pandemic, more people (theoretically mostly Democrats) voted by mail.  Some states allow early counts of mail-in ballots and some states mandate that the count cannot  start until election day.  The country is waiting for results from the states who started ballot counts on election day.  People are going to the polling locations to protest the on-going perfectly legal vote count of all ballots  chanting "Stop the Count!"

This is what I know:  The country is on a knives-edge of distrust.  We are all scared of THEM.  And I can tell ya - from my information sources, which now have to be declared then vetted for credibility - both the Right and the Left are afraid of each other for pretty much the same reasons.  WE are afraid of THEIR violence;  Of what THEY are going to do to US.  WE are getting guns to protect our families from THEM.  

OTHERING:  the Action of perceiving a group or member of a group as different, foreign, strange, etc.

People Like Us.  I heard the term PLU several years ago.  At the time, I was relieved to be included as a PLU and worked much too hard to remain in that elusive - really quite bitchy - group.  I have a different non-bitchy group of friends now.  We've had a lot of fun together over the years.  We celebrate, nurse, tease, advise and kabitz.    We are all different yet PLUs.  This group is a gift of perspectives.  Until recently.  Now our differences are landmines.  

And I hate that.  It is the unintended nastiness of Othering.  My goal moving forward, however this election turns out, to the best of my ability - is to WE.

​Good Luck Friends! 

Whelp!  I have a hobby and her name is Zillow.  

As I type this we are waiting to hear if the sellers of a Silver Lake time-capsule childhood home will accept our offer to spend way more money than we ever imagined on a project that reminds us of the movie "Money Pit" with Tom Hanks and Shelley Long.  We are winners whether the sellers accept or decline.  

​I'm on pins and needles.

Exercise note:  Haven't walked a step this week.  Been busy drawing kindergarten floor plans for my imaginary home.  
Weight note:  The stress must be good because I lost 2 lbs.  I'll gain them back tomorrow for no reason other than I made a note of it here today but -  WHATEV!

​Hoo Boy Friends!

"You need a hobby."

Yes.   I have contemplated that my whole life.  It is an especially glaring hole now that 1) the kids are adults who no longer live with nor need anything from me and 2) well, I was going to say the pandemic but I've been lazy and unproductive long before the pandemic provided the perfect excuse.

I admire and am exhausted by people who get a lot done in a day - every day.  I'm impressed with the students who have the attention span and mental fortitude for homework and continuing education.  I am in awe of the creative endeavors of others.   I appreciate strong work ethic and it's benefits.  

I do have skills mind you!  Organizing opportunities for people to drink wine together tops the list.  Can't really think of any others right now besides keeping the kitchen clean and being a good salad maker.  So there's that I guess.

Exercise update:  I've been walking A LOT!  The other week I logged over 32 miles.  I'm at 16 miles so far this week.  Started an (almost daily) 7 minute HITT workout that is really, oddly, sadly hard to do after months of not lifting my own body weight anywhere but off the couch.  

My diet is really pretty terrific with the exception (possibly) of the bottles of wine and the multiple small pieces of chocolate I consume daily.   So there's that too I guess!

What's your hobby Friends?

"A GLOOMY PRESENT SPURS A POSITIVE FUTURE!"

This is the best fucking thing I've heard in days!  It is my thread of hope.  

My HOPE:
Two new supreme court positions filled and approved by liberal Democrats so the vocal minority, far-right christian conservatives who have been methodically working to push their self-serving, Handmaids Tale agendas are neutralized.

The District of Columbia and Puerto Rico ratified to statehood.  Their voices need to be heard and they should have a say in what happens to their citizens.  I don't understand why we have territories anyway!

Healthcare and prescriptions available and affordable for everyone AND safe and profitable for the care centers and care workers.  

Large corporations (I'm talking to you Amazon, Apple, Facebook, Google, Wal-Mart) lead the country in paying their employees a wage that allows for food, shelter, medications, insurance and a little savings even if that means the corporate CEOs, stockholders, etc are paid a few million dollars less per year,

Community leaders, law enforcement and social services building trust and security for all neighborhoods; rural, suburban, urban.

Marginalized, lonely people able to participate, learn, give back and grow as productive people instead of turning to internet vitriol, drugs or alcohol, violent gangs or militias, or waste away alone where ever they are.

Pro-active climate action, new jobs, innovation and opportunity to protect the earth, air and water.  

Radical HOPE?  No.  It's EQUITABLE!

The base argument is that no one wants to pay 'more than their fair share' or pay for someone who isn't 'carrying their own weight'.  ie: "Why do I have to pay for you to have "that" (education, healthcare, housing, food)?"  It's always about money.  There's enough money - it's just unequally distributed.  In fact, it wouldn't even have to be our money, it could be Jeff Bezos money!  He'd hardly notice a couple billion spent on social services.

Leaving it there Friends!

I'm really trying to not be part of the problem.  
I do not want to lose friends and family over a difference of politics.

Yet ...  what if it's not politics?  

​... what if it's morals?

What if ... just if ... my not wanting to be part of the problem IS the problem?

This weighs on my heart.  I'm not in the mood to unpack this here.

Happy Indigenous Peoples Day Friends!  A good day to begin to correct the mis-history we've learned since grade school.