Year after year: lose weight, cut down on drinking (wine), be nicer; and variations thereof.
Here's the thing: I've gotten fatter, drank (lots) more wine, and am way 'less nice' than ever before (just ask my husband).
It circles back to "goals vs values". My resolutions are my goals but my values bear more weight. Literally in my case.
So let me break this down.
My Lose Weight Goal. It will never, ever be dropped from my list of goals. My little experiment of wanton eating, drinking and no exercise after Thanksgiving has proven to me to never give up. I may not be ultra lean or waifish but I'm far healthier and stronger when I put in the time and pay attention! "This" is literally as good as "it's" gonna get and I don't want "it" to get any worse. You know what I'm sayin'?
So losing weight is my goal. Conversely my two primary values are to hang with friends and nurture my family. Both involve food and neither are fun or interesting if you are cutting out a food group. Dieters are fucking boring!!! The balance for eating is exercise. Exercise is not nearly as easy as it used to be. Getting back into it hurts but hurts so good as they say. So I'll work myself back up to an hour of cardio five days a week but forgive myself when the rhythm of my life prevents that from happening. (goals vs value) On a side note, I'm kinda impressed with myself. I started this blog with 30 minutes for 90 days and here I am, putting in 60 minutes of cardio. This isn't new to me. There was time when I taught two or three aerobic classes a day. It's just an accomplishment for me and my 50 year old joints.
Let's talk about drinking (wine). That's my favorite. I love love sitting with a friend(s), sharing a bottle (or two) and moments of our lives, a few laughs, a couple insights, camaraderie, and friendship. I've got two talents: drinking wine and taking smart. (Talking intelligently is in debate.) My friends are my source of strength, my power, my future. Alcohol just adds to the experience. My motto is: Caffeine, Cardio, Cocktails, Repeat! (I read that on a napkin at Pier One once.) I also enjoy making dinner with wine - and sometimes I add it to the food. (ba dum bum) I will admit though, there should be an occasional recovery period so my liver and brain cells can catch up. It just sure as shit isn't going to be the entire month of January like I promise myself every December!
Let's talk about being "nicer". Ask my kids and they would say I could yell less. (I don't really think I'm yelling FYI.) Ask Dave and he would say I could roll my eyes less. (Ha, yeah right!) I should probably work on being patient instead of 'nice'.
Here's the thing: I don't really want to be nicer (goal). I want to be honest (value) and sometimes being honest isn't 'nice'. There are folks out there who may think being honest is the same as being bitchy. It is not. They just think it's bitchy cuz they don't like it - and it's coming from a woman. Men are never bitchy. They can be assholes but usually strong men are just called "leaders". (Donald Trump anyone?)
We all know I have an opinion about just about everything and I don't mind sharing it. Which is not always very 'nice'. My rules for being honest include 1) Being damn sure I am directly involved and it is 'my place' to have and share my honest opinion. If not, save it until drinking wine with friends. 2) If it involves me and mine I'm (really!) going to (try to) yell less, listen more and keep my eyes firmly rooted in their sockets. If not, I'll commiserate about it with my friends over wine. And 3) I'm going to expand my life bubble so when I am honest, my perspective is from more than four square miles of geographical reality. And then I'll compare notes with my friends over wine.