The second young woman's boyfriend of several years told her he would marry her if she would lose 40 lbs.
I have a beautiful, dear adult friend who commented that she was going on a beach vacation and was going to feel like a beached whale next to her friend. A friend who battles her own negative perception voices.
I have another dear friend who is literally the epitome of everything the rest of us aspire to look like but who texted that, "ugh, she had to put on a swimsuit but there was no way she was wearing a two-piece, not anymore!"
When I was a kid I wore jeans that were labeled "Huskies". I was never a "Regular".
When I was in college my dear, sweet grandfather said, "Between you and me Trace, I wouldn't gain any more weight."
When my mother tells me a story about someone, she usually includes a reference to how they look. "She's gained a lot of weight." "She's lost weight, she looks good." Occasionally someone is "soo thin they look sick". I wonder sometimes if that last comment isn't flavored with just a hint of jealousy.
I have made comments to my own daughters that have caused them angst and insecurity. Sometimes I mask those comments in "healthy choices" bullshit. The Short One has caught on to this ploy and gets really, really, really pissed when I talk about food.
When do we set ourselves free? When are we happy with just being the best we can be instead of torturing ourselves with comparisons to other women? Let's exchange compliments for comparisons. Let's be More Never Less!
I feel best when I am succeeding at my plan: Daily exercise, healthy eating, wine in moderation, emotional connections and an occasional random act of kindness. Achieving these goals gives me confidence. Confidence gives me strength to tame the negative voices. It's an empowered loop.
There are days when it may be tough to stay in the loop but never, never, never give up!
Live, Love, Learn & Grow My Friends!