Wedding Soup with White Bean Balls & Spinach
from 'Thug Kitchen - Eat Like You Give A Fuck' Cookbook

This recipe would be easy to adjust to vegan and/or gluten free.       It calls for Kale but since I didn't have any and don't like it that much, I used Spinach - which I obviously should have chopped up but - what the heck!  It's a bit messy but it's amazingly tasty!  

Hope the High Schooler likes it! ...


​PS  Lifted weights twice this week.  Now getting out of a chair requires a really good reason - and strong mental fortitude. 

The rules of etiquette no longer require us to be polite (to creepy strangers).  Unfortunately, it is a hard habit to break.

Went for a walk with a couple Neighbor-Friends on an amazingly balmy Ohio January day.  We walked the bike n hike path through the quarry.  It is isolated so, while I will bike there, I rarely walk that section alone.  My Friends & I enjoyed a beautiful, brisk 6 mile walk and a wide variety of conversation topics.  Super Duper!

Until ... the bike-rider rode past for the second time, stopped and proceeded to tell us everything about his life.  Blondie, an avid biker and as sweet as the day is long, complimented him on his restored, really pretty 1977 Schwinn commenting that she used to have a 1978 Schwinn and, because she's polite as fuck, further commented that she would love to have one again.  Well, this prompts Schwinney to ramble on about his passion for restoring old bikes AND how he also writes romance novels - set in Europe where the man, progressively, respects the woman, of course.  He then insists we take his contact info so we can contact him whenever we want to upgrade (?) to a vintage Schwinn.  His name is David.  I took his info and passed it along to my companions.  (More on how that turned out in a bit.)

David rolls off down the path - finally!  He had stopped us twice in our tracks to tell us more shit about himself and his amazing bike in his soft (we all agreed: kinda creepy) voice.  We were just getting back into solving the world's problems when we see, coming toward us, a familiar figure on a bike but this time with a DOG running on a leash next to him!  Again he stops so we politely also stop.  We politely compliment his really pretty dog whom I mentally offered condolences to for having such an icky human.  David Master of All & Apparently Nothing tells us he also trains horses and recently got into training dogs.  Someone had given him 'Teddy Bear' who he tried to train to work with Alzheimer's patients but didn't work out very well.  My question was:  "Someone just gave you a dog?"   He literally didn't have a dog 5 minutes ago!  What the hell?  Ick.

We parted ways a third time and discussed how our Creep Radar was at a 10 immediately upon meeting David.  Which brings me to the question:  "Why the fuck did we give him so much of our time?"  We are not required to talk to strangers - especially in isolated areas.  It would have been disconcerting had we each been walking alone.  It made me worry about my daughter when she hikes alone - though, (smile!) she's a fucking badass like her momma - but still, I worry.  (Make smart, safe choices.)

So here's the thing:  I listen to a podcast called "My Favorite Murder"  https://www.myfavoritemurder.com  It's a comedy podcast in which the two hilarious women tell stories about murders.  It's not a funny subject but they make me laugh every week.  They also say the word Fuck a lot - which I fucking love.  One of the things I've learned from this show is:  Fuck Politeness.  Politeness can get you killed.  If you have a bad feeling, listen to it.  If someone is making you feel uncomfortable it is not your job to make them feel better or to leave them with a good impression of you.  Tell your daughters, tell your sons, tell your friends;  If you are in a situation that makes you uncomfortable or you feel unsafe:  Fuck Politeness and get the fuck outa there!

One more thing:  Facebook reads your contact list. Creepy David came up on my feed as someone I might want to be friends with on FB.  I have to admit, he has a great profile picture but No.  Delete!  Attorney Friend  suggested FB also can access  texts and email.  Not sure if that is true but Holy Shit if it is!  OMG!  That means I'm addicted to my scary stalker.  Fortunately for me and unfortunately for FB, I'm boring as fuck!

Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered My Friends (and check out My Favorite Murder podcast!)

I made a list of all the things I am grateful for in 2018. Including all the things I planned to accomplish and actually did. It is a very gratifying list.

The first thing I am always grateful for is safe travel wherever and whenever we go.

I am most grateful that Leia came home. She slipped out of the house on November 6th. She's an indoor cat. She is black and stealthy and skittish. It snowed and rained on and off for days while she was gone. The leaf blower guys were here with their machines to scare her further away. I looked under every deck. Checked every drain pipe. Put flyers in mailboxes and on street poles. Walked miles calling her name. Had panic attacks about her suffering in the cold because I was careless with her. And finally, a week later, there were muddy little foot prints on the blanket I put on the step in the garage. The tuna fish had been eaten out of the can on the deck step. Then I heard a tiny sound. At first I thought it was my knee cracking or my stomach gurgling but she meowed again. I found her under the shovels against the inside wall of the garage. She wouldn't come all the way out on her own. She's a skardey-cat like that. So I, as gently as possible, dragged her out and into my arms. I expected her to throw her paws around my neck and cry with joy at being home. Instead she jumped down, ran to her food and water bowls where she drank for a long time then hid under her favorite covers on the corner of her favorite bed for the next 12 hours. I don’t know where she was all week or how she found her way back. She's as bitchy and feral as ever but boy I love seeing that little cat every day!

2018 was lucky for me! I won the Leg Lamp from the movie 'The Christmas Story'. It's kind of a Cleveland thing. It took me 10 years and hundreds of dollars in donations to the food bank at the Learned Owl Book Store holiday raffle but I finally “won” the Leg Lamp! Surprisingly, not everyone thinks it's as great as I do!

I also won a $600 gift card for carpet - which is fantastic because 2019 is the year of flooring for the Mackay's!!!

Dave & I traveled to Italy with 400 of our best work friends. We traveled to Napa & San Francisco with his college rugby friends. The family traveled to and survived our trip to Maine.

I maintained a pretty regular exercise routine and the foods we eat have evolved to mostly vegetables, lean protein and grains. I've become a pretty great vegetable roaster and salad creator. In fact, one of the all-time BEST compliments I've ever gotten was from the girl at the grocery store salad counter. She said, "I know this sounds weird but I really like your cart." (Meaning it was really, really healthy & leafy!!! So yay me!)

I finally went through all the photos in the basement and purged all the extra sets of blurry photos I've kept for 30 years. For Christmas I made photo albums for each kid beginning with their birth, preschool, grammar school, etc. I included their report cards and any awards they received; added their sports pics and a couple highlights from college. The books are simple but it is fun to see their school pictures collected together in one place. I think the kids really appreciated them.

Lastly, I'm grateful for friendships & wine and the laughter that comes with it. It truly is the Secret to Life!!!

Hangin' out in 2019 Friends!

I am a white, middle-age, suburban housewife.  I've been one nearly all of my adult life.  Every single word of my definition holds privilege.  White.  Middle-age.  Suburban.  Housewife.  I always knew it.  I never realized what it meant.

It has been nearly a year since I blogged.  I return after Parkland with a different perspective.  2018 was disturbing.  The hate, violence, partisanship, lies, extreme division; every day brings some new tweet or tragedy.  Scares the shit out of me.  And I - a white, middle-age, suburban housewife - am one of the safest demographics on the planet.  

WTF must it be like to be an inner-city young black man?  Or a border state latino?  Or any muslim anywhere?  Or a high school student?

So I return to blogging because I need a place to release and refine my thoughts on the state of humanity.  This blog is my journey.  Because of who I am and the privilege I inherently own in my definition, I have a responsibility to Be Better.  To Wake Up.  This blog is my little way of working through my transformation.  

So yes, I'm also going to tell you about the book I ordered from Amazon (I still mostly boycott Amazon FYI but I was lazy and used their site to order this book, which now I sort of regret).  The book is Witnessing Whiteness.  It's also available as a workshop.

I'm going to tell you about the speakers I hear as a new member of the League of Women's Voters.  I'm going to share with you the bits of information I get from Mom's Demand Action about accidental shootings when small children getting a hold of unsecured, loaded guns.

Aaannnnndddd,  I'm gonna tell you how many steps I've gotten, if I've gone to the gym, how my workout was, what vegetables I've roasted for my family, whether we eat gluten, dairy, sugar or alcohol (yes) on any given day, and whatever else might pop into my head and through my fingers.  

Read & follow if you so choose.  Comment & disagree if you are so inclined.  Unfriend me if you must.  But it will be more fun if we do this together!

Love ya My Friends!!!

"We are playing the odds."

Yesterday, 17 people were murdered at a high school in Parkland, FL. The assailant was young man known to be "trouble".  He legally purchased an AR-15 assault rifle a year ago.  He walked into a gun shop and paid cash for a weapon.

The AR-15 was used in the Newtown, San Bernardino, Orlando, Las Vegas, Sutherland Springs and now the Parkland murders.  It is a small but high velocity weapon meant to shatter the insides of the victims.

On his show last night, Don Lemons of CNN said, "We are just playing the odds. We are playing the odds that we won't be the next person murdered or next grieving parents or the next community targeted."

We live in a time where "living our lives" is potentially "taking our lives in our hands".  Everyday activities - going to school or work or a concert or a mall or a night club - require a second thought.

I'm pissed.

Fuck thoughts and prayers.  Fuck the NRA.  Fuck the lawmakers who have willfully ignored passing legislation and allowed this to happen over and over and over again.  Shame on us citizens for repeatedly letting "it" fade into the background.  

Restrictive gun laws have been scientifically proven to work.  (Scientific American)  Currently the licensing authority has the burden of proof to deny gun acquisition.  

With restrictive gun laws Individuals who want to purchase a firearm must demonstrate to the licensing authority that they have valid reasons to get a gun - like using it at a shooting range or hunting - and that they demonstrate "good character".  

People proven to not have "good character" as in the case of Parkland's Nikolas Cruz - his mother called authorities about him, he was expelled from school, he liked to show off guns, and more - would have red flagged him from legally acquiring a gun. 

Restrictive gun laws should have been implemented after Sandy Hook in 2014.  Adam Lanza, known to be mentally ill, walked into a grade school and killed babies with an AR-15.  A weapon designed for first kill.  A weapon designed for maximum damage.  Imagine the damage done to those small bodies.

I think if the public were able to see photos of the victims, to see the damage done by bullets ricocheting inside their bodies, there would be a public outcry loud enough to make a change.  Out of respect to the victims and their families that is obviously never going to happen.  I encourage you to read articles about what bullets do to bodies.  Visualize it.  Think of it happening to your loved one or to you.

Then vote appropriately when you get the chance.  

Be Aware My Friends.

My Life Coaching for Dummies book suggests we, who are looking for "self discover-ment", do an exercise in which we ask where we see ourselves in 5 years; 10 years; and 20 years.

Then I did the math and holy shit!  In 20 years I'll be 73! I usually look back on my life, not forward so this is an interesting exercise.

But let's take this one step at a time:

In five years I'll have one grown child who is married.  I'll have planned a really fucking awesome grooms dinner.  Worn a terrific mother of the groom dress.  And, most importantly, I'll have "gone with the flow" for all actual wedding plans thus enjoying myself immensely and not pissing anyone off!   It's possible I could even be a Grandma ... awwww!

The girls should have graduated from (or soon will!) college.  Everyone will be living and working on their own in really cool places that I can visit.

In addition to visiting my grown children, I plan to vacation for weeks at a time.  Phoenix and Vero Beach are top on my list of places to plunk myself every year as soon as The Short One graduates from high school.  In fact, I've found some really cool places to rent on VRBO already!  (Always prepared!)  

My mother will be 90 in 5 years.  I expect her to continue to be spry and healthy for many years after that.  Though in the next five years I will be visiting NoDak more often and possibly arranging travel for her to her favorite place in Florida.

Basically I imagine I'll be pretty much doing what I already do - but in different, warmer places connecting with old friends and making new ones.

I'll continue my health and fitness quest!  I'll take a bike adventure thru a vineyard, a hike thru a canyon and spend a week at a spa!  Huh!  The next five years are going to be FUN!

Look to the future My Friends!